First Phone: Relationships and Safety

Getting the most out of a cellphone, safely
A cellphone can help children stay connected, learn new things, explore their interests, and build relationships. Discover how you can help your child make the most of these opportunities while learning to recognize potential risks and adopt safe, responsible online behaviours.

A cellphone allows young people to stay connected with family and friends, meet people who share their interests, and discover new passions. When used appropriately, it can provide many opportunities to learn, build relationships, and develop a sense of identity.

As a parent, it can be helpful to recognize the positive aspects of your child's digital life. Taking an interest in what they do online and the connections they build can make it easier to support them in developing healthy and balanced cellphone habits.

A cellphone can help your child:

• maintain relationships with family and friends;
• develop a sense of belonging to a community;
• find people who share their interests;
• build friendships with peers who are like them;
• learn new things and discover new passions;
• reduce feelings of isolation, especially if they live in a remote area;
• get help or support when they need it.

To fully benefit from what a cellphone has to offer, it's important that its use remains balanced within your child's daily life. Certain habits can help reduce the social pressure often associated with digital communication.

Consider talking with your child about the importance of:

• setting reasonable expectations around response times with friends and family;
• turning off certain availability indicators, such as read receipts ("Seen"), location sharing, or Online status, to reduce the pressure to respond immediately;
• disabling non-essential notifications or limiting them after a certain time of day;
• not replying to messages during the night;
• placing greater value on trusted real-life relationships than on online engagement indicators, such as Snapchat streaks, TikTok follower counts, or "Likes."

Like any social activity, life online also comes with certain risks. By discussing these realities regularly with your child, you can help them develop the judgment and confidence they need to respond appropriately when they encounter a difficult or problematic situation.

Using a cellphone can expose young people to:

• cyberbullying or online harassment;
• misinformation and false information;
• contact with people who may have harmful intentions;
• content that may negatively influence their perception of the world, their self-esteem, or their behaviour.

Talking about these issues openly and discussing how to respond if your child encounters one of these situations can go a long way toward reducing their negative impact. As a parent, it isn't possible to prevent these situations from happening altogether, but you can equip your child with the knowledge and skills they need to handle them effectively.

AI-generated images, videos, and answers are becoming part of everyday life online. Learn how to better understand this technology and start meaningful conversations about it with your family.

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People online do not always reveal their true intentions. By talking regularly with your child about these situations, you can help them develop the skills and habits they need to stay safe and seek help when necessary.

Certain requests or behaviours should encourage your child to be cautious:

Strangers online: our red flags

Send gifts (through video or online games).

Ask for personal information (age, city, school, sports team, details about your family).

Offer an easy way to make money, for example through Snapchat or Telegram.

Ask for photos or videos.

Ask you to keep secrets (i.e.: “What I told you stays between you and me.”).

What to do

Set your account to private.

Only add people you know.

Limit who can contact you on social media.

Avoid giving your phone number or contact information to just anyone.

Learn how to recognize unwanted or suspicious calls.

Block unwanted phone numbers.

Be aware of phone scams and how to avoid them.

Report, restrict, or block anyone who is disrespectful or behaves suspiciously.

End the conversation.

Talk to a trusted adult about the situation.

Helpful Tips

Learn how to block unwanted calls as well.

The scenarios that follow are inspired by real situations shared by young people with CIEL facilitators. They can serve as a starting point for conversations with your child about how to respond when they encounter an uncomfortable situation online. Each scenario is accompanied by practical guidance to help your child respond effectively and confidently.

My friends want me to share my location to “prove we're really friends.”

What to do:

1. Remember that no one should pressure you into doing something that makes you uncomfortable.
2. Ask yourself whether you truly want to share your location.
3. Respect your own boundaries, even if your friends may be disappointed.
4. Ask a trusted adult for advice.

My friend told me something in a private conversation and now other people want to see the message.

What to do:

1. Remember that a private message should not be shared with others.
2. Ask your friend for permission before showing the message.
3. Respect your friend's privacy and boundaries.

Someone I don’t know asked me which sports team I play for.

What to do:

1. Do not share personal information.
2. End the conversation.
3. Block the person if necessary.
4. Tell a trusted adult about the situation.

CIEL tip

It is essential that children know who they can turn to if they encounter a difficult situation, whether that person is a parent or another trusted adult in their lives. Take the time to identify these individuals together and discuss who your child could approach for help if they ever need support or guidance.

Cellphones and apps include a variety of settings that can help protect privacy, limit unwanted interactions, and make online communication safer.

This activity, available in French only, invites you to explore these settings with your child. The goal is not to lock and limit access to everything, but rather to help your child understand the tools available to them and develop the habits and skills needed to navigate the online world more safely and independently.

Take the safety challenge